a giantess farts
a giantess farts
The wind howled through the valley, carrying with it the scent of pine and something else, something… pungent. It was Agnes, the giantess, who lived in the mountains above. Her laughter, a rumble that shook the earth, had long been a part of the valley’s life. But today, something else was stirring.
Agnes, you see, was prone to… unfortunate flatulence. It wasn’t malice, just a side effect of her colossal meals of boulders and mountains. But today, after a particularly hearty lunch of an entire volcanic peak, she felt a rumble in her stomach, a rumble that could rival the deepest earthquake.
It began subtly, a faint puff of wind that carried the smell of sulfur and burnt toast. Then it grew, a steady crescendo of whimpering gas, until it erupted with the force of a hurricane. The wind, already strong, was now a raging tempest, whipping through the valley, uprooting trees, and scattering sheep.
The villagers, who were accustomed to Agnes’s laughter, were stunned. They huddled together, their faces contorted in expressions of disbelief and a touch of fear. Old Man Jenkins, his face as weathered as the mountainside, clutched his nose. “The giantess,” he rasped, “she’s… released the beast within!”
The wind carried the scent of Agnes’s… let’s call it “emission” far and wide. Birds took flight in panicked flocks, leaving trails of feathers in the turbulent air. Even the mighty mountain lions, usually fearless predators, retreated into their caves, their noses twitching in displeasure.
Agnes, oblivious to the chaos she had unleashed, stretched and yawned, a contented smile on her face. The villagers, meanwhile, spent the next few days clearing the debris from the valley, vowing never again to eat anything even remotely resembling a volcanic peak.
And so, the legend of Agnes, the giantess who could make the wind howl with a single, potent blast, was passed down through generations. It served as a cautionary tale, reminding the villagers to be mindful of their own “inner beasts,” and to always respect the power of a well-timed fart.
