a RED Scout who has broken his fingers and is scre
a RED Scout who has broken his fingers and is screaming. He opens a door and says “you will not believe how much this hurts”. this catches a nearby Medic’s attention and thinks. The Medic then takes out one of his bone saws. The Medic then says “I’m going to saw through your noodles” which he does, and the Scout lets out a very loud scream and falls to the floor, he asks for a little help, and a Soldier shows up and says “no”, and the Scout saws “I’m dying here”, the Soldier still says no. The Scout then says that he’s dead. And the Soldier says “you’re dead that’s good amen”, the Soldier then says that the Medic is loud and ugly, and this causes Medic to attack Soldier. A BLU Heavy watches and says “Not good”. We then see that the Medic sents the Soldier to heaven, and the Heavy calls the Medic sandvich, and eats him, the Heavy says that it’s (moist and stupid). A BLU Sniper shows up and says “that’s some shonky banana right there”. Sniper appears to be muttering curses, but he was dialing his phone, which is a PDA. The Sniper puts the phone next to his ear, and someone is speaking, all of the sudden the person starts speaking fast and the phone explodes, sending both Sniper and Heavy flying. When they land, the Sniper begins to say “”Ahh, that was rub!” The Sniper starts repeating the word “rub” because he crashed, an error message appears on his face as a screen saying “Sniper.exe has stopped working. What now?” The Heavy starts screaming as the camera zooms out. Before the story ends, we see Heavy holding Medic’s shoulders and the Medic’s head is a sandvich.
The air crackled with the frantic energy of a battlefield. A RED Scout, his face contorted in agony, stumbled through the chaos, his fingers twisted at unnatural angles. He burst through a door, a scream escaping his lips, “You will not believe how much this hurts!”
The shrill cry caught the attention of a nearby Medic, his face a mask of clinical curiosity. He surveyed the Scout’s mangled hand, a thoughtful expression settling on his features. With a practiced flick of his wrist, he produced a gleaming bone saw. “I’m going to saw through your noodles,” he declared, a chilling smile playing on his lips.
The Scout’s scream echoed across the battlefield, a high-pitched wail that cut through the din of battle. He collapsed to the ground, whimpering, “Help… please…”
A hulking Soldier lumbered into view, his expression grim. “No,” he grunted, his voice gravelly.
“I’m dying here!” the Scout choked out.
“You’re dead? That’s good, amen,” the Soldier responded, his tone devoid of empathy.
The Medic, his attention momentarily diverted, turned on the Soldier. “You are loud and ugly!” he shrieked, his voice rising to a hysterical pitch.
The Soldier, insulted, lunged at the Medic. The two clashed in a flurry of fists and medical instruments, the chaos escalating. A nearby BLU Heavy, his gaze fixed on the unfolding scene, muttered, “Not good.”
In the blink of an eye, the Medic sent the Soldier flying, his body disappearing into the sky, leaving only a faint trail of smoke. The Heavy, his eyes widening, rushed to the Medic, calling out, “Sandvich!” He snatched the Medic up, and in one swift motion, devoured him whole. “Moist and stupid,” he mumbled, savoring the taste.
A BLU Sniper materialized, his long, sharp gaze fixed on the Heavy. “That’s some shonky banana right there,” he drawled, shaking his head in disapproval.
He muttered a string of curses under his breath, his fingers deftly tapping away at his PDA. A voice crackled from the device, “Sniper, we’ve got a situation…” The voice sped up, gaining in intensity, until the PDA exploded in a shower of sparks.
Sniper and Heavy were propelled through the air, landing with a bone-jarring thud. “Ahh, that was rub!” the Sniper gasped, his voice echoing through the air as he repeated the word, “Rub… rub… rub…”
A red error message flashed across his face, “Sniper.exe has stopped working. What now?”
The Heavy, his face contorted in a mixture of fear and confusion, started screaming, “Waaaaah!”
The camera zoomed out, leaving the battlefield in a chaotic frenzy. In the foreground, the Heavy stood, his expression blank, his shoulders slumped. He held the Medic’s limp body, his head replaced with a sandvich.
The image was a surreal tableau of death, destruction, and the unsettling embrace of the absurd. The battlefield, a stage for the grotesque, was silent, the screams fading into the echoes of a world gone mad.
