Metropolis, the greatest city in the world. At th
Metropolis, the greatest city in the world. At the skyscraper home of its largest newspaper, the Daily Planet, photographer Jimmy Olsen is shooting photos of a typically kinetic day in the life of the Planet, including sexy star reporter Lois Lane. Lois and Jimmy are introduced by the paper’s grumpy editor, Perry White, to its newest member, a tall shy bespectacled news writer named Clark Kent. Lois is initially puzzled by the man’s shyness and mild social clumsiness, and is particularly struck when the two of them are held up in a back alley by a gunman, Clark faints when the thug opens fire on Lois (the fainting is cover so Clark can catch the bullet in his bare hand, which causes the gunman to run), and in defending himself to Lois rattles off a listing of all the items in her purse.
As Lois and Clark hail a taxi, walking past them is a white-dressed heavyset man munching on snacks and carrying a copy of the Planet. The man is tailed by Harry and Armis, two undercover cops, for he is Otis, a clumsy henchman for criminal genius Lex Luthor, and he is on his way to Luthor’s secret hideout. The cops tail him to Metropolis Grand Central Station, where Harry sends Armis to get backup while he tails Otis onto subway Track 22 leading out of the station. Otis eventually finds an indentation in the underground tunnel and waits for a train to arrive. A doorway opens under the cover of the passing train, and after it is gone Harry goes to the doorway to try and figure out how to open it – a fatal mistake for monitoring the scene from hidden security cameras is Luthor himself, who activates the doorway and violently slides Harry into the path of another train.
Luthor’s sexy mistress, Eve Teschmacher, asks Lex why so many people need to die, but Luthor arrogantly and condescendingly reminds her that it is an inevitable by-product of his status as the greatest criminal mind of the latter 20th century, a status to which he takes egotistical delight. When Otis arrives in their underground lair he is reminded of his clumsiness in allowing himself to be followed again, and is thus given the less-than-glamorous task of feeding “the babies,” a gaggle of monstrous creatures in a vast pit used to dispatch intruders. Eve asks Lex why she loves him so much. Lex answers that the reason is that life with him is never boring. Lex and Eve go to their bedroom where Eve takes her one-piece dress off and gets in bed wearing nothing but her panties. Lex joins her and they have sex.
Later that night Lois Lane is scheduled to fly via Planet helicopter to Metropolis International Airport to greet Air Force One, but on the Planet’s helipad she boards the chopper and when the chopper begins takeoff, a light cable is sucked free of its bracket and in the updraft caused by the chopper snags its landing skids, breaks, and plunges the chopper out of control through the helipad’s control shed and crashing onto the ledge. As police hustle panicking bystanders on the streets below to safety Lois tries to crawl out of the chopper, but the ledge begins to crack and the chopper sags violently toward the street and Lois falls through, hanging on by a seat belt in the air.
But amid the panic in the streets, Clark Kent emerges from the Planet and notices a yellow rain hat on the sidewalk. Upon recognizing it as one Lois was wearing, he sees the stricken chopper, and while those around him run for safety, Clark keeps his head. Running to another building down the street, Clark opens his shirt to reveal his emblem and then whirls through a revolving door at light speed and transmutes into Superman.
Superman jumps into the air, just as Lois lets go of the belt and plunges to the street hundreds of stories below. Superman safely catches her and carries her upward. The chopper now breaks off the ledge and falls, but Superman safely snags it out of the air with one hand and carries it back to the Planet’s helipad. When the awe-struck Lois asks who the stranger is, he merely replies, “A friend.”
It is but the beginning, for Kal-El undertakes numerous feats of heroism – stopping a cat-burglar using gigantic magnets to scale the Solow Building, intercepting a boatload of bank-robbers, rescuing a cat from a tree, and rescuing Air Force One when a lighting strike shatters its portside engine and wing. But between the rescues and the stopping of felons, Superman also decides to have a bit of fun. At one point, he saves a woman’s car from crashing before taking her back to her apartment and having sex with her.
Watching the news about the stranger, Lex Luthor sees his arrival as a natural challenge, and the criminal warlord vows to destroy all that the stranger represents. Nearby, Eve is getting modelled in her sexy bikini. Perry White, for his part, makes discovering the red-and-blue stranger the #1 priority of the Planet and sends his entire staff scurrying to find any scrap of information about “this flying whatchamacallit.” But Kal-El gives Star Reporter Lois Lane the scoop by sending her a note inviting her to a dinner date as a way of seducing her as his next sexual conquest.
The dinner date takes place and as part of the interview, Lois asks Kal-El Where he comes from, and he explains that he was born on the planet Krypton in 1948, but was sent to earth as a baby when the planet was about to explode. She also asks him about his various powers, eventually bringing up his X-ray vision before teasing him about the colour of her underwear, Kal-El then uses his X-Ray vision to look under her dress and seeing what a sexy figure she has, he gives her a ride in the sky to seduce his prize. Kal-El returns Lois to where they kiss and Lois walks off and Kal-El follows her to her bedroom where he finds her naked in bed. He gets in bed with her and they have sex. After the sex, she falls asleep. Having claimed his prize, Kal-El flies off as she sleeps. Lois quietly dubs him a true super man – and uses the term to identify the stranger in her subsequent front-page story, “I spent the night with Superman”. Luthor reads it and remembers a scientific theory; Superman’s home world would be of a molecular construction that would be affected by the unique radiation of a yellow sun, and that meteors from Krypton upon landing on Earth would be affected to the point of emitting a radiation that would affect only Kryptonians. Luthor thus decides to put his theory to test by stealing a green meteorite unearthed in Ethiopia. Luthor’s more pressing concern, however, lies in a story that two nuclear cruise-type missiles with hypersonic speed are to be tested using live multi-megaton warheads soon. Luthor intends to use the missile test to fulfil the greatest real estate swindle in history – the detonation of the San Andreas Fault, which will collapse the Western coastline of the US (namely California and its major cities) into the ocean and thus make the seemingly worthless desert of the west – which Luthor has been secretly purchasing – into multi-billion dollar windfalls, while sending the second missile to metropolis as cover.
Luthor’s gang go to work intercepting the two missile convoys, using a variety of guises they divert attention away from effort to reprogram the missiles’ directional vectors.
Days later Clark is struck by a piercing signal – it is Lex Luthor on a radio frequency only he can hear. Luthor warns Superman that a poison gas pellet is to be released into the air and kill the city’s population. Clark sneaks away from others and jumps out a window, where he transmutes into Superman and traces Luthor’s signal to the street; he drills into the ground and is met by Luthor’s gauntlet of destruction – a wall of machine guns, then a wall of fire, finally a wall of liquid nitrogen that freezes the area. None has any effect on Superman, who bursts into Luthor’s lair and demands knowledge of Luthor’s gas pellet. Luthor lets the truth be known that it is a hoax, and guides Superman to a rambling revelation of his plan for the West Coast before revealing that two missiles are already launched upon Luthor’s plan, with one aimed at California. Luthor reveals he can use a detonator to destroy the missiles, and Superman notices a box made of lead which he assumes hides Luthor’s detonator. But when he opens it he is struck by a massive weakness, for the box contains the Ethiopian meteorite – Kryptonite, fitted to a chain necklace that Luthor drapes around him. He boasts to Superman that Metropolis is the target of the second missile before dropping Superman into his pool to drown.
Luthor, however, has made a fatal mistake, for Eve Teschmacher’s mother lives in Metropolis, and while Luthor and Otis monitor the errant missiles on their hypersonic flight, she pleads with Superman to stop the Metropolis missile first on his mission; he agrees and she strips down to her underwear and jumps into the pool, before getting the Kryptonite off him. Regaining his power, Superman has sex with Eve in the pool before blasting through the mammoth ceiling of the lair, into the sky, and on a direct course west. Superman manages to catch the Metropolis missile and throw it into space, where it explodes, just as the second missile detonates the San Andreas Fault, setting off an devastating quake that is like the destruction of Krypton all over again, a nightmare that doubly drives Superman as he flies underneath the Earth’s crust to stabilise the land and flies all across the area rescuing people amid the chaos wrought by the quake. He returns to Metropolis where Luthor and Otis are preparing to drop Miss Teschmacher into the pit of “the babies.” Superman, however, rescues her, and pointedly notes to Luthor that Miss Teschmacher’s mother sends her love.
Afterward, Superman delivers Luthor and Otis to a maximum security prison to hold him for trial. As Luthor shouts his defiance as he is led away by the guards, the prison ward thanks Superman for his good deeds. Superman humbly dismisses the praise as just his contribution to their mutual effort for the good of society.
Superman returns to Luthor’s lair where he finds his prize, Miss Teschmacher in her lingerie waiting for him in bed. “Come and get me, Superboy…” She says. The story ends with them having sex.
The Day Metropolis Went Super
The Daily Planet was buzzing like a hive of caffeinated bees. Photographer Jimmy Olsen, camera in hand, captured the chaotic beauty of the day – Lois Lane, the paper’s star reporter, strutting through the newsroom, her red dress practically screaming “I’m going to win a Pulitzer!”.
“Alright, folks, meet Clark Kent,” Perry White, the editor, barked, his voice booming through the room. He gestured towards a tall, shy man with glasses thick enough to deflect laser beams. “Our newest writer. He’s fresh outta Metropolis University, and he’s got an insatiable thirst for the news – just like Lois!”
Lois, however, was more interested in how Clark managed to make a paperclip look like a weapon.
“So, Clark,” she purred, “What’s your most thrilling story so far?”
Clark, blushing a deeper shade of crimson, stammered, “Well, uh, my mom made the most amazing apple pie…”
Before Lois could launch into a career counseling session, a gunshot shattered the air. Two figures emerged from the alley – a panicked Lois and a trembling Clark, both looking like they’d just stumbled out of a horror movie.
“I…I…I think I saw a…a gun!” Clark sputtered, his voice barely a squeak. “And…and…it pointed at Lois! And…and…then there were…there were…”
He trailed off, digging frantically in Lois’ purse, rattling off a list of lipstick, gum, and a crumpled receipt from a hot dog stand.
Lois, meanwhile, was trying to ignore the fact that her purse had been ripped off and that a bullet had just whizzed past her head. She was far too busy staring at Clark, who seemed to be having a nervous breakdown.
“Look, Lois,” Clark explained, “I have this…uh…condition. I get…really stressed in situations like this…you know, with the…the gun…and the…the danger…”
“Yeah, Clark,” Lois interrupted, rolling her eyes. “You start inventorying my purse.”
Suddenly, a white-clad figure waddled past them, munching on a bag of potato chips and clutching a copy of the Planet.
“Otis!” Harry, an undercover cop, hissed to his partner, Armis. “He’s heading to Luthor’s hideout! Let’s go!”
And so began the most bizarre day in Metropolis’ history. Otis, Lex Luthor’s bumbling henchman, was on a mission, though not one involving world domination. He was just trying to find the right subway track to Luthor’s underground lair, a task that seemed to be beyond his limited mental capabilities.
Meanwhile, Harry, in hot pursuit, found himself in a situation that was as absurd as it was dangerous. As Otis disappeared into a seemingly ordinary subway tunnel, Harry followed, unaware that Luthor, the mastermind behind it all, was watching him through hidden security cameras.
A hidden doorway swung open, revealing a dark passage. Harry, eager to catch Otis, took a step forward, only to find himself violently shoved into the path of an oncoming train.
“Oh dear,” Lex Luthor sighed, his voice dripping with boredom. “That’s the second one this week.”
Eve Teschmacher, Luthor’s glamorous, yet slightly exasperated, mistress, looked at him with a mix of annoyance and fascination.
“Lex,” she said, “You could at least make it look like an accident.”
Luthor smirked, stroking his chin. “My dear Eve, you don’t understand. Death is just a minor inconvenience in the pursuit of greatness. Besides, the thrill of the chase is half the fun.”
Meanwhile, Lois, finally freed from the clutches of Clark’s purse inventory, found herself in a predicament far more familiar – a helicopter ride. She was heading to Metropolis International Airport to meet Air Force One, a glamorous assignment that was quickly turning into a nightmare.
The helicopter, with Lois onboard, was making its ascent when a loose cable, whipped around by the updraft, snagged the landing skids, sending the chopper plummeting towards the ground.
The crash sent panicked screams echoing through the city. Lois, miraculously uninjured, found herself hanging precariously from the broken helicopter, staring down at the street hundreds of stories below.
Suddenly, a figure emerged from the crowd – Clark Kent. His normally shy demeanor replaced by a newfound determination, he spotted a yellow rain hat on the sidewalk, one Lois had been wearing. He looked up at the broken helicopter and without hesitation, ran to another building, ripping open his shirt to reveal a symbol – a red ‘S’ on a blue background. With a flash of light, he vanished.
Superman, born from the shy Clark Kent, was now soaring through the sky, a streak of red and blue against the gray concrete. He caught Lois just as she slipped from her grasp, holding her aloft like a feather. With his other hand, he grabbed the falling helicopter, bringing it back to the Planet’s helipad with the grace of a seasoned pilot.
Lois, breathless and speechless, stared at the man who had just saved her life. “Who…who are you?” she whispered.
“A friend,” he replied, his voice a low rumble, before disappearing again, leaving Lois with a heart pounding faster than a hummingbird’s wings.
The city, however, was in no mood to rest. Superman was in high demand. He thwarted a cat burglar who was attempting to scale the Solow Building with the help of some suspiciously powerful magnets, intercepted a boatload of bank robbers (who had apparently never seen a superhero movie), rescued a kitten stuck in a tree (a true test of his heroic abilities!), and even saved Air Force One from a catastrophic lightning strike.
But between these heroic acts, Superman decided to have a little fun. He found a woman whose car was careening out of control, and before saving her, he took her back to her apartment for a little “thank you” session.
Watching the news about this strange, red-and-blue savior, Lex Luthor saw not an inspiration, but a challenge. He vowed to destroy everything that Superman represented.
Meanwhile, Perry White, always one step behind the news, made finding Superman his number one priority. “I want every single scrap of information about this flying whatchamacallit,” he barked, his voice echoing through the newsroom. “This is the biggest story of the century!”
But it was Lois, the paper’s star reporter, who had the biggest scoop of all. Superman, wanting to continue his “thank you” sessions, had sent her a note, inviting her to dinner.
Over candlelight and a bottle of vintage wine, Lois interviewed Superman, asking him about his origins, his powers, and his future plans. He admitted he was born on Krypton, a planet that no longer existed. He described his powers, even demonstrating his X-ray vision by looking right through Lois’ dress, prompting her to joke about the colour of her underwear.
“You have a great body,” he admitted.
And so, Superman flew Lois through the night sky, sharing a few stolen kisses, before taking her home. He found her in bed, asleep in her lingerie. He climbed into bed, and they made love.
In the morning, Lois, still half asleep, realized what she had done. She had spent the night with Superman. She dubbed him a “true Super Man” and wrote a headline that would make Perry White’s head spin: “I Spent The Night With Superman.”
Luthor, reading the article over his morning coffee, took a deep, thoughtful sip. His mind was racing. A scientific theory suddenly clicked into place. He remembered a paper he had read about Superman’s home planet, Krypton, and its unique molecular structure. He knew now that Superman’s powers came from the yellow sun.
He needed to put his theory to the test.
He needed Kryptonite.
But Luthor’s real threat wasn’t a green rock from space. It was a far more devastating weapon – a nuclear missile. Two of them, to be exact. He had a grand plan to use the missile test to make a fortune. He planned to detonate the San Andreas Fault, collapsing the West Coast into the ocean, thereby turning the seemingly worthless desert into valuable beachfront property (which Luthor had been secretly buying up for years).
And to cover his tracks, he planned to launch the second missile at Metropolis.
Luthor’s plan was audacious, but not foolproof. As his henchmen were busy diverting the missile convoys, Superman received a chilling signal, a message broadcast on a radio frequency only he could hear. It was Lex Luthor, warning him that a poison gas pellet was going to be released, killing the entire city.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Superman raced through the streets, his eyes locked on the signal. He broke through Luthor’s lair, finding himself surrounded by walls of fire, machine guns, and even liquid nitrogen.
Superman, immune to all of Luthor’s traps, confronted him. Luthor, with a wicked glint in his eye, revealed his plan, taunting Superman with the impending doom of Metropolis.
He then revealed a box made of lead. “This,” he said, “is the key to my plan.”
Superman, assuming the box contained the detonator, reached for it, unaware of the trap that awaited him. Inside the box was Kryptonite. Luthor, with a cruel laugh, placed the Kryptonite necklace around Superman’s neck, draining his power. Superman stumbled, his body heavy and weak. Luthor, cackling with glee, dropped him into his pool.
“Now,” Luthor declared, “It’s time for the grand finale!”
But Luthor had forgotten one crucial detail – Eve Teschmacher’s mother lived in Metropolis. Eve, horrified by Luthor’s plan, begged Superman to stop the missile. She jumped into the pool, ripped off her clothes, and helped Superman get the Kryptonite off.
He was back in action.
Superman, with a newfound fury, soared through the sky, catching the Metropolis missile just as it was about to reach its target. He threw it into space, where it exploded in a harmless shower of fire.
But it was too late to stop the second missile. It detonated, unleashing a devastating earthquake, turning the West Coast into a scene of utter chaos. Superman, his body aching from the Kryptonite, flew under the Earth’s crust, stabilizing the land and rescuing people from the wreckage.
He returned to Luthor’s lair just in time to save Eve from being thrown into the pit of “the babies,” monstrous creatures Luthor kept as a form of punishment.
Superman, with a look of steely determination, captured Luthor and Otis, delivering them to a maximum security prison.
As Luthor was being dragged away, still boasting about his genius, Superman was met by a grateful prison guard.
“Thank you, Superman. You’ve saved the city.”
“It was a team effort,” Superman replied, with a small smile. “We’re all in this together.”
He returned to Luthor’s lair to find Eve waiting for him in bed, wearing nothing but her lingerie.
“Come and get me, Superboy,” she said with a mischievous smile.
And Superman, with a twinkle in his eye, did just that. The city might be safe for now, but the adventure was far from over.
