Бывает тебе так плохо, что т
Бывает тебе так плохо, что ты пытаешься отвлечься.
Ты держишься из последних сил, стараешься не сломаться. Чтобы отвлечься включаешь смешной видеоролик.
В обычном состоянии ты бы пропустил его мимо, но сейчас… он кажется смешным.
Ты смеешься в голос и уже не можешь остановиться.
Твой смех переходит в слезы, и неожиданно ты начинаешь рыдать.
У тебя истерика.
Разом навалились и боль и отчаяние, стена рухнула, ты не можешь остановиться.
Спустя корОткое время тебе становится лучше, Ужас проходит.
Но ты не можешь перестать думать, что это было???
Это твое бесконечное отчаяние сводит тебя с ума.
Очевидно, нужно в жизни что-то менять.
И начинать нужно прямо сейчас.
The screen flickered with the ridiculous antics of a cat chasing a laser pointer. Normally, I’d find it mildly amusing, but right now, it was the funniest thing I’d ever seen. My laughter, a strangled, hiccuping sound, filled the room.
I was holding on by a thread, desperately trying to avoid the abyss of despair that threatened to swallow me whole. The laughter, a defense mechanism against the encroaching darkness, was turning into something else. My chest constricted, the laughter morphing into a choked sob.
Then, the dam broke. Tears streamed down my face, a torrent of raw, unfiltered emotion. The laughter turned into a full-blown, shaking hysteria. I clutched at the pillow, the familiar soft comfort offering no solace.
The world spun, a kaleidoscope of blurred colors and dizzying emotions. It was a primal scream, a release of the pain I’d been burying for so long. It was terrifying, and yet, in a twisted way, exhilarating.
The storm subsided as abruptly as it had begun, leaving me drained and shaken. My reflection in the mirror was a stranger, eyes red-rimmed, cheeks flushed. My heart pounded in my chest, a frantic drumbeat against the deafening silence.
What was that?
It wasn’t just a breakdown; it was something deeper, something that had been building inside me for years. It was like a puzzle box, each piece a fragment of pain and frustration. Now, the lid was open, and the contents spilled out, revealing a terrifying, yet undeniable truth.
I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Something had to change.
The next morning, I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose. The fear was still there, but it was overshadowed by a powerful urge to reclaim my life. I started small, with a list of things I wanted to change: a new job, a healthier lifestyle, a renewed focus on my neglected passions. It was a long road ahead, but with every step, I felt a glimmer of hope.
The mystery of my breakdown still lingered, a haunting reminder of the depths of my own despair. But I was determined to unravel the puzzle, to understand the root cause of my suffering. It was a journey of self-discovery, a quest for healing and growth.
The laughter I heard that night, the tears that flowed freely, had become a turning point. It was a painful wake-up call, a forceful reminder that I needed to face my demons, to take control of my own destiny. And for the first time in a long time, I felt a flicker of optimism, a belief that I could rise from the ashes, stronger and more resilient than ever before.
